Hello, Anxiety - Phum Viphurit

It was on a typical morning commute, driving like a maniac, when YouTube decided to play this track - a cheerful greeting to my own panic.
Those were the times when I was stuck in survival mode 24/7, my body locked in a non-stop war with anxiety despite the daily benzos.

So, naturally my first impression of this nonsensical song wasn't great.
"Hello, Anxiety?" More like "F U, anxiety."

But I let the track play on anyway because I was too busy frantically switching lanes to beat traffic (I wasn't late; manic tension was my default).

By the end of the song, I couldn’t help but laugh at the ridiculous contrast between my chaos and this soundtrack, simultaneously blasting at full volume.

While I was constantly struggling and fighting against anxiety, the song had zero interest in controlling it or driving it out.
No bold declaration of "overcoming" it.
No dramatic vow to conquer it either.

But a "Hello," an invitation to talk.
It even goes a step further and comforts it. I cringed at the cheerful optimism of it all.
It was a concept I literally couldn’t fathom at the time.

I spent years after that battling the same familiar storm, and it finally started making sense not long ago.
Anxiety wasn't the villain I thought it was.
It was my body screaming, pleading for me to look at the parts of myself I'd been ignoring for way too long.
Without it, I probably would have kept choosing the safer options, postponing the uncomfortable conversations, and mistaking numbness for stability.

I still spend a good amount of time with this uninvited companion. It's never comfortable, but it always tells me something I need to hear.

So, my bad. You're still annoying, but you were never the enemy.